How to Ruin the Perfect Vacation: a Snoggletog story for 2017
by Marty the Martian
Summary: Astrid is planning a little trip to Dragon Island with Hiccup. A simple enough task, so why won't anything work out the way she plans?
1. Chapter 1

**Well here we are again; time for the 2** **nd** **annual Marty the Martian tale of Snoggletog. This one is a bit longer than last year and also a bit different. I started writing it in late October but had not even finished the first chapter when I realised it was dull and soppy, so I threw it out and left the whole thing alone for a month till I could come up with something better (I hope).**

 **There is a little bit of action/adventure near the end but I hope you will still find most of it funny. I used a bit of sexual frustration, gross out humour and even a smidgen of gratuitous comic nudity. I don't think it will offend anyone but I suppose you all will let me know if I'm wrong.**

 **There are quite a few call backs to characters and situations from some earlier tales too but it should still be understandable to anyone who hasn't read the other stories.**

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How to Ruin the Perfect Vacation

or

A Shield Maid's Tale

Chapter 1

Two days flight east-southeast of Berk, is the country of Elydonia with the former Empire of New Loren sitting on its southern border. These two countries were once ruled by a pair of despotic leaders until King Rekkur of Elydonia sent his son to claim the islands of the Berk Archipelago for his own. By the time the Dragon Riders had finished dealing with Rekkur, Elydonia had a new and much better king, and New Loren had ceased being an Empire had been turned into a loosely connected group of allied nation states.

The new trade routes opened up by these changes of government, were the main reason why Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third now stood in his kitchen a few days before Snoggletog, contemplating how much vanilla he should mix into the drink recipe he was working on. The secondary reason was his desperate desire to make a better festive beverage than the fermented globular, vomit inducing mess that is Yak Nog.

The first step had been to start with fresh Yak milk and cream and the second was to try out a few of the newest spices he had obtained on his last trip to Bolthorn Castle. The third step was to include the main ingredient, a honey coloured liquid that was quickly becoming the most popular alcoholic drink on the island; Fine Elydonian Brandy.

In the past, any Viking wishing to indulge in an after dinner tipple (following his 'before dinner drink' and his 'mid meal booze up'), only had three drinks to choose from. These were Beer, Mead and a highly refined grain alcohol that apart from making the drinker temporarily blind, could also be used to disinfect wounds, remove paint, or polish tainted metals (although it would often dissolve some of the softer alloys). This noxious stuff was so strong, in sufficient quantities it could even be used to reignite an extinguished volcano.

The only problem related to the Elydonian Brandy's new found popularity, was the fact that Vikings had absolutely no concept of the shot glass. This meant they would either fill up their beer steins with this liquid gold or simply drink it straight from the bottle, meaning King Joric of Bolthorn had been forced to commission the building of a new distillery, five times bigger than the one that supplied Elydonian Brandy the rest of the known world.

Meanwhile as Hiccup continued with his task, his fiancée Astrid Hofferson stepped out of her front door ready to greet the day. For most people, greeting the day would mean a smile and a song, but for Astrid it usually involved a Battleaxe and a loud war cry.

She could not help but be excited because of what this day would bring and she had been looking forward to it for weeks. Two years ago the dragons had suddenly disappeared (along with Hiccup when his metal leg became firmly attached to Meatlug) causing much dismay on the island of Berk, as no one knew for sure if the dragons would ever come back again. The Vikings were all relieved to find out that it was simply the right time of year for the beasts to gather together on Dragon Island and lay their eggs, in order to raise a new batch of baby dragons. Last year Hiccup had gone back alone to help transport the new hatchlings back to Berk but this year, Astrid was going too.

"Good morning Chief" the young warrior sang out as she skipped into Stoick's home.

"Well if it isn't my favourite daughter in law" Stoick beamed.

Even though Astrid and Hiccup would not marry for several more years, Stoick had decided none of that mattered and as far as he was concerned and she was already part of the family.

"Where will I find our one legged wonder today Chief?" Astrid asked.

"He's in the kitchen" Stoick replied "I assume he's getting ready for your trip to Dragon Island."

"Thank you" she waved as she headed to the back of the house.

Deep in her heart, Astrid new she could put her trust in Hiccup with confidence. Nonetheless she knew precisely what she would do if she ever found him in the arms of another woman; as you can probably guess, it would involve her axe and a liberal amount of decapitation. But she had not prepared herself to cope with what she found when she pulled aside the Yak skin curtain and entered the kitchen.

"Hiccup... no... how could you" Astrid said in a very weak voice.

"What?" Hiccup shrugged.

"You're... you're making a... a...a..."

"I'm not making an ah ah ah, I'm making a special Snoggletog drink" he admitted.

"But... my Yak Nog..."

"Is digusting! Sorry Astrid I love you dearly but I don't think I could stomach another mug of sour fermented Yaks milk."

Astrid clapped the back of her right hand against her forehead and fell back onto the doorframe.

"Oh the betrayal" she sobbed "How could you do this to the woman who will someday bear your children?"

"Stop being so melodramatic and just try it" Hiccup sighed.

"Okay" Astrid smiled as she took the offered mug.

She looked at the frothy head with great suspicion as if she half expected to find a fake spider inside.

"What's this brown stuff on the top?"

"It's called cinnamon; I promise it's not poisonous."

"You first" Astrid thrust the mug back at Hiccup.

"WILL YOU JUST TRY IT!?" he cried out in frustration.

"Alright alright" Astrid finally succumb and took a sip.

"Mmmm" she stated and took another.

"mmmMMMmmm" she repeated and drained the rest in one gulp.

Hiccup smiled at Astrid's obvious satisfaction with his creation, but his joy did not last long.

"OWW! What was that for?" he yelled when the love of his life punched him hard in the arm.

"It's too good" Astrid declared "No one will ever want my Yak Nog ever again.

"Toothless loves your Yak Nog" Hiccup tried to console her.

"Wonderful" she threw her arms up in disgust "So I've been relegated down to being a supplier of festive beverages for dragons!"

"A supplier of festive beverages for dragons, who's beauty and strength are beyond compare" Hiccup declared as he gazed into her eyes.

"A bunch of sweet talk won't save you" Astrid sneered.

Without saying another word, Hiccup swung one arm around Astrid's waist. She yelped in surprise as he pulled her close and caressed her cheek with his other hand. Slowly he moved his lips closer, till she melted at the touch of his kiss.

"Okay" she smirked "There is a good chance that might save you."

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 **And we're off for another year! Next chapter in just over a day and should be all up before Christmas, depending on where in the world you are.**

 **Thanks, Marty.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Confession time; I haven't done the last chapter yet.**

 **This story was supposed to be the same length as last year's (three chapters) meaning the 1** **st** **would be posted on the 23** **rd** **of December, but it turned out to be seven chapters meaning I had to start posting in order to get them out in time. I went to bed not sure of how to end it but then came 'the inspiration' (yay!)**

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Chapter 2

Later that same day, the young couple arrived on Dragon Island with a few loaded dragons. Zipplebacks could carry quite a large load, so Gobber and Mulch had loaded up some building materials on Boomer as well as Barf and Belch. Astrid rode with Hiccup so Stormfly could bring her special Baby Dragon Basket, just like all the other Berkian dragons and as she dropped down from Toothless's saddle, a melancholy feeling swept over her.

At the base of the mountain, where it met the rocky beach, was a small cave with a number of rough shelters lined up nearby. These shelters were all made from former Viking Longships, destroyed by the Red Death dragon during the fateful battle that brought lasting peace between the dragons and the Warriors of Berk, and a slight reduction in the number of Hiccup's reliable limbs.

"We may have come to Dragon Island a lot in the last few years, but I don't think I've been back to this spot since..." she suddenly fell silent.

"Since the day I lost my leg?" Hiccup wondered if that were what she was thinking.

"Yeah... and it feels kind of weird."

Looking around at the old camp site, Astrid took a deep breath and then punched Hiccup in the arm again.

"Oww! What was that for?" he protested.

"Habit I guess" Astrid shrugged "You nearly died back then and it really scared me; and when you scare me, I hit you."

"Note to self; never use the word 'Boo' anywhere near Astrid" Hiccup mumbled.

"This was where you were put after the battle" Astrid noted "None of us knew for sure if you would make it through the night."

"But I did thanks to you, so this shouldn't be a place of sorrow" Hiccup said as he began to unload the dragons.

"You're right of course. Come on Babe; let's go for a walk up the beach."

"I wanted to get some work done here while the sun is high" Hiccup informed her "We can go for a nice romantic walk on the beach at sunset."

"Or I could hit you again?" Astrid suggested.

"Let's go for a walk up the beach" Hiccup agreed and took her hand.

Unlike the half frozen Berk, Dragon Island felt quite humid thanks to the massive volcano in the middle of the island. Thermal vents just offshore caused patches of bubbling water and there were even a few hot rock pools up on shore. Most of them were boiling hot but some were only warm.

"Hey look at this one" Astrid broke away from Hiccup and hurried up to one of the pools

"Watch out Astrid, you could burn yourself if you're not careful" Hiccup warned.

"Don't make such a fuss" Astrid huffed "It's not bubbling."

She splashed the tips of her fingers in the water before pulling away, repeating the test several times to be sure.

"It's just like a hot bath... hmmm... a hot bath; not a bad idea."

To Hiccup's surprise, Astrid rose to her feet again and started pushing him away.

"Go work on whatever it is you're working on" she insisted.

"What? Why? It's a big pool so couldn't we..?"

"No we couldn't" Astrid continued pushing "Toothless, help me out here."

The sleek black dragon had not been paying them much attention but when he heard Astrid call his name, he bounded over to see what she wanted.

"Do me a favour and take Hiccup back to camp" Astrid cooed as she scratched Toothless under the chin.

Always willing to help, the dragon jumped over to Hiccup's side and looked back impatiently for his rider to get on.

"Now wait just a minute Toothless; you're my dragon and you do what I tell you to do."

A low growl emitted from the slightly annoyed dragon, informing the young Viking that he was definitely outnumbered.

"And err... I um... want you to take me back to camp; oh yes indeed I do."

As the dragon lifted off, Hiccup looked back at Astrid as she began to unlace her right boot.

"We're gonna be married some day, so why would she start getting shy now?" he wondered out loud.

"Hurrumph" was all Toothless could come up with in reply.

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 **Milenalupin, yes there is a recipe for Hiccups creation, or as you called it Yaknog 2.0. Being summertime here in Australia, we don't tend to make eggnog so in order to find out what was in it, I turned to the internet and chose "The best eggnog in the world by Jamie Oliver" so you can check it out if you want. It looks hard to make but sounds delicious.**

 **A big hi to Stripesicles222 (hope you are not frozen) and to all who have decided to follow this story.**

 **More soon, Marty.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Last chapter almost done (phew).**

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Chapter 3

Hiccup and Astrid may have walked for ten minutes up the beach, but it took Toothless only a matter of seconds to fly Hiccup back to camp. Alone at last, Astrid finished getting undressed and slipped into the hot water. Even at the height of a Berkian summer, it is nearly impossible for anyone to truly feel warm, so Astrid intended to make the most of this natural bath.

The view was just perfect for a Dragon Rider and she watched the various breeds of dragon flying into the island with joy. Further up the beach a small group of Razorwhips were having a mild disagreement with two determined Nightmares who were building their nests just a little too close, while five Changewings flew high overhead on their way to the far side of the volcanic mountain. No sooner had they disappeared from sight when three Gronckles flew in low over the ocean, bobbing along like a trio of rocky bumble bees.

"Hello there" Astrid remarked in a cheerful voice as they landed close by.

There was nothing quite like the non presumptuous smile of a relaxed Gronckle and it pleased Astrid to see them wandering towards her in answer to her greeting.

"Begs me to bring her along this year" Hiccup mumbled to himself as he opened his bag of tools near the cave entrance.

"Tells me it'll be how great it will be for us to be alone together" he sneered as he measured the wood for a door frame.

"Come for a walk she says, now go away she says" he cussed as he cut the wood.

"And as for you Toothless, some help you were, taking her side" Hiccup waved the saw at his innocent looking dragon.

Hiccups attention was suddenly diverted when a scream of absolute terror pierced the air. He turned to see, far in the distance, the tiny figure of a naked Astrid running into the half frozen ocean.

"Astrid!" he gasped and rushed to his dragon.

"Come on Toothless; Astrid's in trouble."

The pair rose up and flew off like a bolt of lightning and within seconds, were circling the stricken girl.

"ASTRID; WHAT'S WRONG?" Hiccup cried out.

"Go away!" she called back.

"But aren't you hurt?"

"I said go away... but send Toothless back with a blanket."

"Toothless can't fly without a rider" Hiccup pointed out.

"HE CAN RUN CAN'T HE?" came the angry reply.

Hiccup did as he was ordered and fifteen minutes later, Astrid sat shivering near the back of the cave wrapped in an itchy Yak wool blanket. A small fire burned in front of her while an ever increasing number of glowing rocks were placed all around, emitting heat faster than her half frozen body could absorb.

"I'm coming in" Hiccup warned a few seconds before he entered the cave.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Cold and stupid" she replied.

"I went to get your clothes but I think it would be best if you put on your thick nightdress for now and stayed in here, close to the fire. You can dress while I get the dragons to heat up some more rocks."

"Thank you" she whispered.

"Astrid... what happened?"

"Do you still love me Hiccup?"

"What a silly question; of course I do."

"Then don't ask" she didn't seem angry anymore, but it was obvious to Hiccup there was something bothering her.

It did not take Hiccup long to fetch two more good sized rocks, glowing red thank to some cooperative Nadders. The wooden yolk he used to carry them dug into his shoulders but it was better than trying to use his hands. Back at the cave Hiccup had to be careful as he removed the chains from the rocks, for they too had become quite hot. With his task complete, he fetched his own bed pack and unwrapped it in front of Astrid.

"You may as well have this because I won't need it till tonight" he said as he handed Astrid his blanket.

"But I've already got one" she replied.

"And it's very damp so now that you're dry and dressed, take this one and I'll hang yours up at the cave entrance."

Astrid rested for the rest of the afternoon while listening to the sound of Hiccup working just outside the cave. After a few hours she started to feel more like a human, as opposed to an icicle with legs, so she decided to see what Hiccup was up to. Slipping on her boots, Astrid wandered out to the mouth of the cave, being careful not to hit her head on the low roof.

"Oh... that looks good" she commented.

Just inside the mouth of the cave, Hiccup had completed constructing an entranceway that would enable them to close off the cave when the door was fitted and keep the wind out. She then noticed Hiccup was hanging her blanket across the open doorway.

"Didn't you bring enough wood to make the door too?" she asked.

"Well... yeah sort of" he evaded.

"Then why don't you just... oh" Astrid suddenly realised the wood used to thaw her out had to come from somewhere.

Hitching up the blanket on her shoulders, Astrid wandered over and put her arms around Hiccup.

"I'm sorry" she said.

"It's okay Astrid, but I do wish you would tell me what happened to you... and what that weird smell is."

Astrid sighed as she realised she could not put him off forever.

"I was lounging in the warm water, watching all the dragons fly in and feeling thoroughly relaxed, when a group of Gronckles landed nearby. I said hello, they wandered over and..."

"I've got a bad feeling about this" Hiccup noted.

"and... and they..."

"Laid their eggs in your pool?"

"Yes" Astrid buried her head in Hiccups chest.

"So the smell is..."

"Gronkle afterbirth" she whimpered with embarrassment.

Astrid could feel the movement in Hiccups chest as he tried to control himself, but a snort became a chuckle and a chuckle soon turned into howls of uncontrollable laughter.

"STOP THAT!" she declared as she pounded on his chest but soon had to admit to the humour of the situation.

They both laughed heartily for a minute until Hiccups legs finally gave out and he fell to the ground. Kneeling down beside him, Astrid leant forward and whispered softly into his ear.

"Tell anyone else what happened here today and you shall die an old and lonely man."

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 **There is an old saying about beware the comic who laughs at his own jokes, but when the idea for this chapter hit me, I was glad there were no passengers in my bus because I almost wet myself.**

 **Thanks for the review Dlydragon, and a very big thanks to all who read chapter one, and still moved on to chapter two.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay I've finished chapter 7... good... wonderful, now all I have to do is write chapter 8. (sigh) Why can't I ever get to the end of a story without adding just a little bit more?**

 **As I mentioned earlier, there are a few characters from my old stories here so I hope new readers are okay with it. I have long wanted to write more about them but been too busy with other stories so far.**

 **Thanks for coming back everyone and here we go again!**

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Chapter 4

A fresh sense of calm washed over Hiccup and Astrid after their eventful day. Outside the cave, Hiccup packed up his tools for the night while Astrid indulged in a little food preparation. Toothless was kind enough to catch her a few fish as well as heat up a flat topped rock for her to cook on. As she turned the half cooked fillets over, Hiccup retrieved two small yellow fruit from his bad and gave them to her.

"When the fish are done, cut these in half and squeeze the juice over the fillets" he suggested.

"What are they... and where did you get them?" she asked.

"Their called lemons and I got them from Sigrid a few days ago."

Sigrid was once one of Stoick's mightiest dragon fighters, during the last years of the three hundred year war. But just like all the other Vikings, she had found a new career now peace had come to the island. All things considered, she had done very well for herself; for while Gobber had become a dragon dentist and Sven had taken up shepherding, Sigrid had left Berk and become Queen of Elydonia. King Joric of Bolthorn had become quite smitten with Sigrid back when he was just a sailor. She had helped save the men of his ship, before going on to join the other Dragon Riders and save his entire country from both a civil war and a foreign invasion. He had been very pleased when she had accepted his marriage proposal for as well as being a mighty warrior, Joric also found her very attractive.

While Hiccup finished packing up, Astrid cut the lemons and gave one a sniff. Finding the aroma very pleasant, she cut off a thin slice to taste but regretted her action as soon as she bit into the flesh of the fruit.

"Oh... and don't eat any of it because they are very sour" Hiccup remembered.

"Now he tells me" she winced.

In spite of her first encounter with a lemon, Astrid had to admit the juice really brought out the flavour of the fish. Hiccup though was a little surprised to find she had also placed two fried eggs on his plate. After dinner, Hiccup yawned and stretched as the need for sleep caught up with him.

"I'll be glad to see the end of this day" Astrid declared as she shuffled closer and slipped her arm around Hiccup's waist.

"Yes it has been rather eventful, but it'll all be worth it when the dragon eggs start hatching in the morning; and then by this time tomorrow we'll be putting the babies in their baskets and heading back to Berk."

"But tonight it's just us and an isolated cave far away from the rest of civilisation" Astrid purred.

Turning her face towards Hiccups, Astrid closed her eyes as their lips moved closer and closer together.

"Ahoy there!"

"Hiccup my darling."

"Yes Astrid?"

"Did you just say ahoy there?"

"No I didn't dearest."

"Damn!"

Slowly they turned their heads towards the sea where they saw a small row boat making good time towards the shore. A tall man sat in the small boat with his back to them as he rowed ever closer.

"Ahoy there Lady Astrid!"

"I know that voice" Astrid declared, sounding very disappointed.

"What are you doing here Toki?" she called out.

The row boat surfed a little on the inner waves before it bow dug into the sand, sending Toki flying backwards. He clambered back to his feet and jumped off onto the beach.

"It's so good to see you again Lady Astrid, and you too Lord Hiccup!"

"Please Toki, we're not in Bolthorn Castle now; you don't have to use all those pleasantries out here" Hiccup begged.

"Oh but I must; after all, you are royalty."

To the people of Elydonia, Stoick's position as chief made him the equivalent of a king, thus making Hiccup and Astrid members of the royal family.

"Never mind all that for now" Astrid insisted "What are you doing here?"

"We were on our way back from Berk after delivering your fathers standing order of Elydonian Brandy. As this is the time of year when you celebrate the Snoggletog holiday, we knew all Queen Sigrid's dragons would have left the castle and would be here. So I thought it would be nice if we could check up on them and give her a report when we get back."

"Oh no!" Hiccup gasped and ran for his saddle bag.

Removing his spyglass from the pack, he lifted to his right eye and scanned the sea with urgency.

"The wild dragons are circling overhead" Hiccup reported "If your ship doesn't show signs of leaving soon it will be attacked."

"You'd better get going Babe" Astrid insisted "Toki should be safe in the cave."

"Let's go Toothless" Hiccup leapt onto his dragons back and took to the air.

A fountain of water spray fanned out behind the low flying Night Fury as they moved at high speed towards the Elydonian ship. They had to get there before the wild dragons finally ran out of patients, but the men on deck just smiled and waved, oblivious to the danger they were in.

"Weigh anchor and get this ship moving out to sea" Hiccup ordered as Toothless landed on the deck.

"What's wrong Lord Hiccup?" the captain asked, obviously confused

"If you don't turn away from Dragon Island soon, those dragons up there will attack you and sink your ship."

"But they're just curious; we often have wild dragons flying around us when we sail to Berk" the captain protested.

"It's nesting time and those are not the wild dragons from my island. All the dragons here are on edge and ready to protect their young at all cost. So any dragon that doesn't know you will assume you are a threat" Hiccup informed them.

"But we can't leave without Toki" the first mate insisted.

"Astrid and I will take care of Toki, you just concentrate on getting this ship moving."

The captain gave the order without any further delay and his men were soon hauling up the anchor and hoisting the sails. Toothless lifted off again and began to circle the ship, for Hiccup had noticed some of the larger dragons were drawing nearer because of the increase in activity on deck.

"Everything should be okay when the ship starts moving out Bud" Hiccup spoke quietly "but until then..."

Both young man and dragon knew their time was up when a large Hobblegrunt dove in sharply and fired on the helpless vessel.

"HERE WE GO!" Hiccup cried out.

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 **HA; CLIFF HANGER!**

 **Don't ask me why, but I once heard fan fiction readers like to have a story with lemon in it. Seems silly to me but who am I to tell them what they should and shouldn't like?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 8 is coming along nicely but in order to have it all published in time, the next two will be only 12 hours apart.**

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Chapter 5

A flash of black moving at very high speed startled the angry Hobblegrunt, causing it to turn back and abort its second attack.

"Well done Toothless; we've got to try and discourage these dragons without hurting them" Hiccup noted.

Emboldened by the Hobblegrunts first successful run, several other dragons spun in the air and lined themselves up with the Elydonian ship. Most of them did not get very far, giving up their attack dive when Toothless shot passed them. The velocity of the Night Fury cause a great disturbance in air pressure, causing the dragons drop as they temporarily lost lift, as well as creating the sound a piercing crack just behind his tail.

Toothless and Hiccup continued to fly rings around the ship, but more and more of the circling dragons decided they had given the intruders enough of a chance, and the time had come to destroy them utterly.

"Faster Bud; we can't let any of them get through!"

With Toothless making so many tight turns, Hiccup could feel his body being pushed into the saddle, and he began to feel quite dizzy as the blood drained from his head. At last the ship began to move but unfortunately, it was still facing the island.

Seeing the advancement as a clear sign of aggression, the dragons increased the number of attempted attacks. Slowly the ship began to turn and although Toothless did his best to keep them all at bay, a nimble Shivertooth made it passed him and shot a frost bolt into the sea near the ship's bow. A large area of water was instantly turned to ice and the ship ground to a halt, becoming the proverbial sitting duck.

"We've got to help them get moving again or all this will have been for nothing" Hiccup noted with urgency.

Toothless turned towards the ice, intending to hit it with a plasma blast but before he could get into position, one of the biggest Monstrous Nightmares he had ever seen flew past and shot a fire burst at the ship.

"Too late" Hiccup gasped.

Knowing there was nothing more he could do, Hiccup waited to see how much of the small ship would still exist after the attack; maybe he could manage to rescue some of the survivors.

The fire burst flashed passed the ships bowsprit and split the ice holding the ship. Then to Hiccup surprise, the Nightmare circled around behind the ship and hit it with a mildly powered wing blast. Soon the ship was moving out to sea again and so with the intruders successfully driven off, the wild dragons returned to their nests on the island.

Hiccup and Toothless dove down as the Nightmare continued to flap its wings and fill the ships sails. As they drew nearer, Hiccup finally recognised the dragon that had come to help them.

"Skywolf! Oh boy, am I glad to see you."

If there was one dragon Hiccup could rely on to come to the aid of an Elydonian ship, it was Queen Sigrid's own faithful flying mount. She would often take him for long flights up and down the west coast, telling her husband they were going on security patrols, but King Joric knew she was just shirking her royal duties to be with her beloved dragon.

"Well now you'll have something to report to Sigrid" Hiccup said to the captain as Toothless dropped back onto the deck.

"I'm not sure if we should tell her what happened here" the captain admitted.

"And I think you should always steer clear of Dragon Island in the Snoggletog season too" Hiccup suggested.

"Agreed; but what do tell her about Toki?"

"If my memory serves, Astrid and I asked him to stay on Berk for the Feast of Snoggletog and you all thought it would be very rude to refuse a request from the hero's of the Battle of Staggshund."

"And we were never here?" the captain checked.

"And you were never here" Hiccup agreed.

With the ship safely away, Hiccup and Toothless returned to the island where there were even more agitated dragons were sniffing around his campsite. The arrival of a very annoyed Night Fury and a no nonsense Nightmare did the trick and they all started to back off.

"I think you'd better stay on guard for a while Bud" Hiccup patted his dragon's neck.

"Hurrumph" the dragon agreed.

Before Hiccup went back to the cave, he just had to thank the dragon who had done so much to help.

"You did a great job Skywolf; thank you."

The Nightmare lowered its head, allowing Hiccup to rub its chin. Like all dragons, Skywolf was very proud and liked to be appreciated. With his old friends now safe, the massive dragon took off and returned to its mate, whose eggs would be hatching in a few more hours.

"Oh well" Hiccup sighed "Time for Astrid and I to enjoy our romantic evening... with Toki."

He sighed again.

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 **Thanks Stripesicles222 for the reviews, and I'll get right onto finishing the story now.**

 **Back soon, Marty.**


	6. Chapter 6

**It's now the morning before Christmas Eve here so tomorrow of course will be Christmas Day, and I'm still a few hours from finishing the story; talk about a close call.**

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Chapter 6

Hiccup had to admit it, Astrid looked very cute standing at the mouth of the cave, wearing her nightdress and brandishing her battleaxe, but was the fluffy house slippers though that truly made the ensemble into something special.

"How'd it go Babe?" she asked.

"As well as expected" he replied.

"That bad huh?"

"I doubt we would have succeeded if it wasn't for Skywolf."

"Skywolf... of course" Astrid smiled at the sound of the dragon's name "He would have been on that ship many times; what with Sigrid and Toki being such good friends."

"Yes he was very protective of it."

Hiccup slipped his hand around Astrid's waist and they wandered back into the inner cave, where Toki sat illuminated by a few faintly glowing rocks and the dying embers of the fire.

"You're angry with me aren't you Lord Hiccup?" he whimpered.

"Yes, but only because you keep calling me Lord Hiccup."

"But you said you hated being referred to as His Royal Highness, the Prince of Berk."

"Never mind all that" Hiccup said as he sat.

"Toki's right you know; you do hate it when..."

"Not helping Astrid" he snapped "Toki... I hope you realise now that it was a very bad idea for you to visit Dragon Island at this time of year... or anytime for that matter."

"I do Lord Hiccup, but I must ask; how is it you and Lady Astrid are able to be here?"

"We have to be careful too" Hiccup said.

Astrid sat next to Hiccup and leant forward to speak "Let me explain Toki; here in the archipelago there are many types of dragon, but many can be put into one of three groups. First there are our own dragons like Toothless and Stormfly, who would do anything to protect us."

"Then you have the wild dragons that live on Berk and its nearby islands" Hiccup added "They know us very well and are aware that we would do anything to protect them."

"But then there are the really wild dragons who don't know us at all" Astrid took up the story. "Normally we don't have any trouble with them but when there are eggs and baby dragons involved, then it's the wild dragons who would do anything to protect their offspring."

"The only reason we can be here is because we are surrounded by dragons from the first two groups; they like having us here and they help to keep the wildy wildest dragons away. But when a strange ship arrives, all bets are off."

"That is why I had to get you inside the cave and stand guard till Hiccup got back. The dragons could smell the presence of a stranger and they did not like it" Astrid informed him.

"I think I understand, but speaking of smells..."

"I wouldn't say another word if I were you" Hiccup interrupted "Not if you want to keep your enchanting smile intact."

Toki soon noticed the angry scowl on Astrid's face and decided to show a little more discretion.

"Well all things considered, I am very grateful for your help" Toki admitted "Who knows what would have happened if you had not been here."

"I know what would have happened tonight if you hadn't been here" Astrid mumbled.

Toki's eyes darted between his two friends as the dim light of realisation suddenly lit up his mind.

"Oh... OH you wanted to be alone tonight; oh I am sorry."

To their surprise Toki leapt to his feet and turned to leave.

"I'll just sleep outside with you dragon; I'm sure he'll protect me."

"Sit down Toki" Astrid insisted "Even with Toothless to protect you, I doubt you would survive the night. One dragon can only do so much."

"Listen, why don't we all try and get some sleep?" Hiccup offered "I'm sure things will look much brighter in the morning."

"Perhaps you are right Lord Hiccup. Would you happen to have a spare blanket?"

"For reasons I won't go into now, we only have one blanket" Hiccup answered "so just lie down and try not to snore."

It was certainly not how Hiccup had planned to spend this night on Dragon Island; sandwiched between his fiancée and a foolish Elydonian sailor. After everything she had endured that day, Astrid too was not feeling at ease with the world and soon made her frustrations known.

"I really am very sorry" a feeble voice whispered.

"Shut up and go to sleep Toki!"

"Yes Lady Astrid."

* * *

 **Chapter 7 should be up tonight with 8 coming Christmas morning. Bye for now, Marty.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here we are again, almost done for another year. Hope you all enjoy this penultimate chapter, it's the longest one of this story.**

* * *

Chapter 7

Astrid was awoken the next morning by the dull thud of distant explosions. Finding herself all alone in the cave, she sat up, yawned, stretched and waited for her brain to start working again, but it had other ideas. Hiccup always said a new day meant not having to worry about what had gone wrong on the last one. She wanted to believe this to be true, but it already looked like this new day was trying to outdo the troubles of yesterday.

After getting dressed, Astrid wandered out of the cave and was happy to find Hiccup and Toki had already prepared breakfast for her.

"Aww isn't that nice" she smiled "You got up early to take care of me."

Toki rose to his feet.

"Actually we got up early because..."

"Because of the hatching Gronkle eggs" Hiccup interrupted "They do make quite a bang!"

"They certainly do" Astrid agreed "How long until breakfast is ready?"

"Ten minutes I'd say" Hiccup noted.

"Good; just enough time for me to check on Stormfly."

Toki waited for a short time, till Astrid was out of earshot before he spoke to Hiccup,

"I take it she doesn't know how much she snores" he checked.

"Oh she knows, but Snotlout still regrets the day he pointed it out to her."

"Thank you for saving me... again" Toki nodded.

Hiccup opened his pack to retrieve a flask of water while Toki kept an eye on the fish as it cooked. It seemed like a minor personal disaster had been averted when much to their surprise, they heard a strange distant cry moving towards them at great speed.

"hhhhiiiiicccccuuuuppp... hhhheeeLLLLLPPPPPP!"

Hiccup and Toothless leapt up and rushed to higher ground, where they saw Astrid running as fast as she could. Behind her were about six or seven Gronkle hatchlings followed by three very annoyed parents. The baby Gronckles were not yet able to fly but it was surprising just how fast they could run.

"It looks like Astrid's aroma is having some unfortunate side effects" Hiccup noted "Toothless quick; take her up where the Gronckles can't get to her."

The sleek black dragon bounded away towards the stricken girl. As soon as he was close enough, Astrid literally threw herself onto his back. It wasn't easy for her to get her feet into the stirrups while being tossed about on the back of a running Night Fury but as soon as she did, Astrid opened up the dragon's tail and they flew off towards the clouds. The baby Gronckles screeched to a halt and watched as the object of their maternal desire disappeared before their very eyes. This enabled their true mothers to catch up, scoop the young ones into their mouths and carry them away.

As soon as he was sure the coast was clear, Toothless returned to the cave but it was soon clear that Astrid was now at her wits end.

"I want to go home Hiccup; and I want to go now" she declared through clenched teeth.

"Stormfly won't be ready to..." he started to explain.

"Toothless can take me and you can return on Stormfly later. It's only fair as it was your idea for me to come this year."

"But it was you who..."

"IT WAS YOUR IDEA!"

"Oh yes... I remember now" Hiccup agreed "But Stormfly would have real trouble carrying two people and her basket of offspring all the way back to Berk, so Toki will have to go with you."

Virtual smoke was coming from Astrid's nostrils as she tried to think of another way but in the end, she had to admit he was right.

"Fine; tell him we leave in five minutes."

The journey home seemed to take longer than was usual, but only because most of it was spent in total silence. About halfway back though, Astrid began to feel the kind of guilt that only comes from being angry with someone who had bent over backwards to help.

"Did I snore much last night?" Astrid broke the silence.

"Oh it was hardly noticeable Lady Astrid."

"You are not very good at lying Toki" she declared.

"Yes I know" he sighed "Its keeping me from being promoted."

They arrived back at Berk quietly to find a very slow moving village. It had only been light for about an hour because at this time of year, the sun would not appear till it was almost time for lunch.

"Make yourself comfortable in the Great Hall" Astrid told Toki "I'm sure you'll be able to get a bite to eat and plenty of Vikings for company, although most will probably have hangovers from last nights feast."

Toothless wandered off to the stables leaving Astrid to herself. Back inside her home at last, she sighed and hung her head. Ever since she had found Hiccup making a replacement for Yak Nog, things had just gone from bad to worse. Now she wanted to get cleaned up but that would require hot water and without Stormfly, she would have to revert back the uncivilised, pre-dragon days and start a fire herself.

Heating up the enough water for the big tub would take hours so while the fire did it work on her large cauldron, she boiled a kettle and fetched a wash basin. Astrid did have some perfumed soaps from Elydonia (the source of most of Berks newest luxuries) but she knew they would be too weak for the task ahead. So with no other choice, she took out a large bar of soap normally used to wash her dragon. The wash cloth was rough but the soap was worse and it felt like she was trying to remove one layer of skin too many.

"Hey Astrid, can I come in" Heathers familiar voice called from the door.

"I'm in the back room" she answered.

While on one hand she wanted to be alone, Astrid was glad to see one of the few people she could confide in.

"So... did you and Hiccup have a good time, if you know what I mean?"

"Oh it was a wonderful experience Heather; being there with all the nesting dragons, I feel like Hiccup and I really bonded with the beasts; as well as with each other. In fact I think you and Fishlegs should be the ones to go next year so you can really get to know him as a person. I'd miss going myself, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice for you."

"Did you know I just came from the Great Hall?" Heather grinned.

"Toki talked did he?"

"Sang like a bird."

"I'm gonna kick his butt so hard, he'll be walking like a flamingo for the next six months" Astrid threatened.

"Oh go easy on him; it was very entertaining. But why were the baby Gronckles chasing you?" Heather asked.

"Do you want your butt kicked too?"

"Settle down Astrid, I didn't come empty handed. I bought you a little Snoggletog present."

Astrid was not impressed when Heather pulled a bottle of Elydonian Brandy from her tunic and held it out.

"I'm not impressed" she declared.

She was aware Heather could not know about Hiccups new brandy based drink, so her friend also could not know why Astrid was so annoyed.

"Oh come on, this is good stuff" Heather insisted as she fetched two glasses.

She poured out a generous amount and place one of the glasses near Astrid.

"Whew, Toki was right about the way you smell" Heather said tactlessly "What is it?"

"It's a little something called mind your own business."

"My word, we are a Little Miss Grumpy Gronckle today" Heather noted.

"You don't know the half of it."

Just then, Astrid thought of a way she could find out if she was wasting her time with the dragon soap.

"Hey I know this sounds weird, but which arm smells worse; the left of the right?"

"That doesn't sound weird, it is weird" Heather insisted but succumb to Astrids request.

"Not much difference" she said after checking "but the left one isn't as acrid; although it is much redder."

"That's the one I've been scrubbing with dragon soap" she admitted.

Realising she was indeed wasting her time, Astrid threw the washcloth into the basin and picked up her glass. Fully intending to drown her sorrows, Astrid put the glass to her lips but when the aroma of brandy hit her olfactory, a light came on in her head.

"Where are you going?" Heather asked.

"To get a clean cloth" Astrid declared.

Heather was shocked when Astrid did not consume her drink, but instead poured into the fresh cloth.

"What are you doing?" Heather asked as her friend rubbed the cloth first over her right arm, and then moved on to her face, neck and even her hair.

"Smell my arm" Astrid grinned.

"Okay but if you ask me to pull your finger, I'm outta here."

"Well?" Astrid asked impatiently.

"You appear to have found the answer to your little problem" Heather admitted.

"YES!" Astrid declared and started to undress.

"But I still think it's a waste of good brandy to... umm... err... I think I'd better leave you to your... umm... bye Astrid" Heather turned and hurried from the room.

"I'll see you later in the Great Hall" Astrid called after her.

* * *

 **There we go; a change of fortune for Astrid at last.**

 **Thanks again for taking the time to read and I'll be back with the last chapter soon.**

 **Bye for now, Marty.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Done with a day to spare (whew). Now I can turn off the computer for a bit and go to bed.**

* * *

Chapter 8

Life is never perfect, but sometimes when thing finally go your way, it can come pretty damn close.

Feeling clean and more like a person again, Astrid cheerily made her way to the Great Hall to join her friends for an evening of feasting and fun as they awaited the return of their dragons. It was only three hours after noon but being the middle of winter, the sun had already set and it was quite dark. The lanterns hanging by the hall door showed her the way and even seemed to bid her welcome on the way.

"Hello Berk!" she greeted her friends as she threw open the doors.

Astrid felt sure everyone would be pleased to see her and she was right, but she did not expect to receive the rousing cheer that filled the hall. A crowd of thrilled Viking rushed over and proceeded to hug and kiss her with gratitude, until Stoick managed to make his way through the throng to her. The bear sized man hoisted Astrid onto his shoulder and paraded her around the room, bringing yet an even louder chorus of cheering.

"HURRAY FOR ASTRID!" many of them called while others just smiled their approval.

It was then she noticed everyone had a drink in their hands and each drink had a frothy white head with sprinkles of brown powder on top.

"Excuse me Chief" Astrid said as she took a mug from Stoick's hand.

As soon as the drink passed her lips, she knew precisely what it was.

"Where did you get this Chief?" she asked.

"I found your recipe my dear" Stoick admitted.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well you see Astrid, after you and Hiccup had left for Dragon Island, I went into the kitchen to make myself a light lunch; just a couple of spit roasted wild boars to tide me over till last night's feast. When I walked in, I saw this jug containing some kind of drink, so of course I tried it. Well it was the greatest thing I'd ever tasted so when I found the recipe sitting on the sideboard, I brought it here and got Gothi and Olvor to help make a batch. Not much mind you, just a medium sized vat."

"Can I see this recipe please Chief" Astrid asked,

Stoick pulled a crumpled up piece of paper from his vest pocket and handed it to Astrid. It was plain to see it had been snatched, ripped, repaired and argued over a lot during the last twenty four hours, but she could still make out Hiccups handwriting of the festive drink she had jealously enjoyed the day before. Clearly written the top of the page were the words 'Generous Astrid's Snoggletog Masterpiece'.

"You were right to call it your masterpiece" Stoick nodded "It's much better than your first effort... no offence my dear."

"I didn't write this Chief; Hiccup did."

"Aye I thought that looked like his writing" Stoick agreed "It was good of you to let him make a record of the recipe. Gobber still won't tell me what's in his Meatloaf Surprise."

"It's Yak Tongue" Astrid informed the Chief.

"But I hate Yak Tongue" Stoick gasped.

"That's why he wouldn't tell you; but getting back to this new drink, its Hiccup's invention, not mine."

"Then you can tell everyone all about it after Snoggletog, because no one is gonna listen to you now. Besides my dear, it seems to me like Hiccup wanted you to take the credit."

"Why would he do that?" Astrid wondered.

Stoick place Astrid on the floor, got down onto one knee and took a firm hold of her shoulders.

"Listen closely m'dear, even if you were not to be my daughter in law, I would still be exceedingly proud of you; a strong and mighty warrior to be sure, but also very wise. As Chief of Berk, you are just the kind of person I need in my village and when Hiccup takes over from me in the future, I know he will find you just as invaluable. When I see him trying to cope with Snotlout and the twins, I thank Thor for you and Fishlegs."

"T-thank you Chief" Astrid had a feeling there was a 'but' coming up.

"But..."

She was right.

"...have you even tasted Yak Nog? And all that punching under the Missing Toe has got to stop. If I know my son, he wouldn't want to humiliate you in front of the entire village by doing better than you in some way; remember when he threw the thaw games to help Snotlout with his father?" Stoick made himself quite clear.

"I think I understand Chief" Astrid smiled.

The feast went on into the evening with everyone having a great time, until at last the call came that the dragons were returning to Berk and Vikings of all shapes and sizes rushed outside to see the wondrous sight. As soon as she saw Astrid in the crowd, Stormfly made straight for her pet girl to show off her latest brood.

"Hey Babe" Astrid greeted Hiccup as he dropped to the ground "Stormfly give you a good trip back?"

"Always feels odd not having to make any tail adjustments" he grinned.

The young couple spent some time bonding with the baby Nadders before leading Stormfly down to her stall in the stables. It was a noisy place with all the new arrivals crying out for food and attention.

"Come with me Babe, I've got something I want you to see" Astrid said as she took Hiccup's hand.

She led him up out of the stables and across the village to her house. They removed their sludge covered boots near the door and walked into the cosy home. A welcoming fire burnt in the hearth, but Astrid took Hiccup into the back room and then told him where to stand.

"Do you know where you are?" she asked holding his hands firmly.

"In your house?" he offered.

"You're standing under the Missing Toe" she smiled coyly.

Hiccup flinched and tried to move away but Astrid held his hands tight.

"You obviously haven't heard about the new Snoggletog tradition" she said as she threw her arms around Hiccups neck.

It only took the young future chief a few second to decide he would support this new tradition with vigour. Over a minute later, their lips finally parted so Astrid could show Hiccup part two of her surprise. Without warning, she placed her hands on Hiccups chest and gave a sharp push. Unable to hold his balance, he fell back with a splash into a large tub of warm water.

"Oh dear" Astrid bit her bottom lip as Hiccup gasped "Did I do that?"

"Yes... yes you did; but the real question is why?"

"I'm just clumsy I guess" Astrid shrugged and them gave a wicked grin "Now let's get you out of those wet things."

* * *

 **For those of you wondering about the Missing Toe, it was a cut scene from The Gift of the Night Fury. You can see a storyboard of it on YouTube.**

 **Merry Christmas to all (and Snoggletog too of course) and wishing you all a wonderful 2018. Thank you too for all your support with my stories this year.**

 **With love and gratitude, Marty.**

 **(PS: yes it is the end of the story but as soon as I lay down in bed, I got another idea, so more soon.)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay... so... the story was finished and I went to bed, but then I got this other idea.**

 **So here's an epilogue.**

* * *

Chapter 9

"Goodnight Meatlug" Fishlegs smiled with a tear in his eye "Your babies are really beautiful."

Fishlegs hated to leave the stables, but he knew it was important for the new mother to spend some bonding time alone with her young. Seeing Fishlegs was having a hard time tearing himself away, Heather walked up and took his hand.

"Don't worry Fishlegs, we all want to be with our dragons but they'll still be here in the morning. Now let's get back to the feast."

Fishlegs smiled his coy little smile and allowed himself to be led back upstairs again. As they wandered slowly back to the hall, they were both surprised to see Snotlout setting up a cage trap between two of the village houses.

"What are you up to now Snotlout?" Fishlegs could not help but worry.

"I'm gonna catch me that mess making bear and then, I'll have a new rug for Snoggletog."

"Oh why don't you just leave it alone; it's never done any harm" Fishlegs sighed.

"And why don't you and your girlfriend just leave me alone" Snotlout snapped.

Fishlegs turned bright red and looked away.

"Well... I-I'm not sure you could call Heather my g-girlfriend..." he stammered.

"Oh hi Heather" Snotlout waved "I didn't see you behind Fishlegs considerable bulk; I was talking about your weird attachment to your equally bulky dragon."

"There is nothing wrong about having a strong bond with your dragon" Heather interrupted "I think it's something you should try and achieve with Hookfang."

"Hey; me and Hooky are doing just fine thank you very much" Snotlout snapped "Now if you will excuse me..."

Snotlout gestured for them to leave, so they did.

"Why would Snotlout want to catch a bear?" Heather asked.

"Most of the bears live on the other side of the island, but this one has been entering the village and going through the garbage looking for food scraps. I think Snotlout is sick and tired of cleaning up after it."

"Do you think he'll catch it?" Heather asked.

"Not with the bait he was using" Fishlegs chuckled "I don't thing bears really go for lettuce leaves."

With his trap set in the alley between the houses, Snotlout hid himself in the shadows under a blanket and waited with his typical level of alertness; in other words, he fell asleep. He slept for a few hours but was eventually awoken when the door of his trap slammed shut.

"Huh... what..? I... I did it" Snotlout jumped up "I caught the bear."

He slowly snuck up on the cage listening for the bears panicked grunting, but he heard so much more.

"Help... let me out!"

"It's a talking bear" Snotlout smiled with joy.

He peered into the alleyway but in the dim light, all he could see was an empty cage.

"Please help me!"

"I've caught an invisible talking bear" Snotlout shivered with excitement "Wait till the others see this... or... don't see it."

"I'm not a bear, please let me go."

"You're not a bear?" Snotlout asked.

"NO!"

"Then what are you doing in a bear trap?"

"I don't believe this; I've been captured by an idiot" the strange voice declared.

"If I'm the idiot, why are you the one in the cage?" Snotlout pointed out.

"Will you just open the door" the voice got angry.

"Sorry but I don't make a habit of letting invisible talking bears have the run of the village" Snotlout stated.

"Oh for heaven's sake" the voice sighed "Come closer."

Unsure if it was a wise thing to do, Snotlout crept a little closer and was hit in the face by handful of glittering dust.

"Ugh... yuk... ith in my mouf" he protested.

"Sorry about that, but you should be able to see me now."

Wiping the dust from his eyes, Snotlout looked into the cage and was surprised to see, not a talking bear, but a rather large man with a long white beard. He was dressed in a red suit with white fur trim and big shiny black boots. The shocked look on Snotlouts face clearly amused the man and as he laughed, his belly shook like a bowl full of Yak Nog.

"Who the hell are you?" Snotlout asked.

"I go by many names" the man replied "In some countries I am Santa Clause, but in others I am known as Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle..."

"Kris Kringle?" Snotlout snickered "Sounds like a cooking oil. So what are you doing here?"

"I come here every year Snotlout to leave gifts for all the good Vikings of Berk."

"Who are you trying to fool" Snotlout sneered "there's no such thing as a good Viking!"

"Well it's all relative; I mean good by Viking standards."

"Then how come I've never gotten a gift from you?" Snotlout doubted the man's story.

"Are you kidding me" Santa crossed his arms "Even by Viking standards you're a mean one; that's why you get coal every year."

"All the coal in my socks... that was you?"

"Of course it was" Santa said proudly.

"Oh thank you" Snotlout reached through the bars and shook the man's hand "The coldest time of the year and you give me the gift of coal; warm wonderful coal."

"Hmm... I may have to rethink my punishment gift for people inside the arctic circle" Santa thought "now will you please let me out of this thing."

With the strange man clearly becoming annoyed, Snotlout decided he had better let him go before he threw more dust in the young Vikings face.

"Thank you Snotlout" the man smiled as he stepped out of the cage and walked off.

"Hey... where ya going?" Snotlout called out.

"I've got one more delivery to make and then I can get out of this place."

The man who called himself Santa Clause strode through the town while the few Vikings still on the street just ignored him.

"Hey... stop that guy" Snotlout called out, but everyone just ignored him too.

"They can't see you or hear you Snotlout; it's a little side effect of my magic dust" Santa told him "Don't worry, it will wear off soon."

Not knowing what to do next, Snotlout followed the strange man as he continued on to Astrid's door. He then surprisingly just walked through without opening it.

"Wow; this is so cool" Snotlout declared as he entered the same way.

"You should not be in here" Santa said sternly.

"Hey; I'm Astrid's friend so I think I should keep an eye on you while you're in her house."

"Well just stay out of trouble while I put this gift where she can casually find it."

"What ya got there anyway" Snotlout asked.

"It's an old book" Santa smiled as he placed it in the side cushion of her chair.

"Not much of a gift if you ask me" Snotlout sniffed.

"When Astrid was seven years old, Hiccup gave her flower and she pressed it in this book. When she finds it tomorrow, it will remind her of just how much he really loves her and for how long."

"So how do you know who is good enough to get a gift?" Snotlout wondered.

"Well for one thing, I've got a list" Santa revealed.

"Yeah I can see it" Snotlout said "It's about five degrees to the left.

"Not that kind of list" Santa snapped "But also being an invisible fictitious apparition means I can listen in to what people think of each other. For example, everyone on Berk believes Astrid is a good girl; Hiccup in particular thinks she's very good."

"I'm not surprised" Snotlout noted "These are Hiccups clothes drying by the fire."

"What... no that's not what I meant" Santa protested "I mean unlike you and the twins, she is reliable, dependable... wait Snotlout; don't go up there."

But Snotlout just ignored both Santa and his conscience as he hurried upstairs to the loft where Astrid slept.

"I knew it" Snotlout declared "they're both here, fast asleep."

"And why not" Santa tried to pull Snotlout away "They're young and in love, and will be married someday; now let's leave them alone and get out of here."

"Well I think it's wrong for Hiccup to assume he can just..."

Snotlout was unaware that Astrid always slept with a short sword under her pillow, but he soon found out about it when she dug its point under his chin.

"Oh you've gone way too far this time Snotlout" Astrid growled.

"Err... you can see me?"

"Unfortunately for both of us, yes."

"I err... followed this intruder in to protect you... and Hiccup... who I'm sure has a legitimate reason for being here."

"Lame Snotlout, even for you."

"But he's standing right there; can't you... of course you can't" Snotlout realised at last that the magic powder had worn off.

"What makes you think you can just waltz into my house in the middle of the night..."

"Err... your blanket is slipping!"

Astrid nervously checked to see if she was still covered, giving Snotlout the opportunity to break away and run off down the stairs. Without thinking he ran at full speed into the door and bounced back onto the floor. Astrid gave a very satisfied grin as Snotlout picked himself up and fumbled with the door lock, before running off into the night.

Picking up the hem of her makeshift dress, Astrid walked down and shut the door, making sure it was well and truly locked, before returning to the loft.

"Huh... did I just hear the door?" Hiccup yawned.

"Go back to sleep sweetie" she kissed his cheek "I was just getting rid of a pest."

* * *

 **Okay now it's over (I think). Thanks for all the reviews and thanks again for reading.**

 **Merry Christmas, Marty.**


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